It is unfortunate that during the holiday season, dinner tables and happy gatherings of family and friends are transformed into miniature war zones of politics. Far-flung relatives challenge everyone’s political views, and supposedly “rebellious” kids disagree vehemently with their parents. What about Donald Trump, Zohran Mamdani, illegal immigration and healthcare? These topics become common in a sadly hostile, uncomfortable way during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. Families are torn apart, and friendships are ended based on the political winds of the day. Familial estrangement has become commonplace and is increasingly driven by political differences.
For whatever reason, people seem unable to separate political beliefs from their own personal relationships. Associating with those on the other side has become a point of shame rather than one of pride. The increase in animosity, or polarization, is a constant feature in our political environment, and, sadly, at our dinner tables. Many people cannot be civil with their family members because of how they voted in the last election, or others make jabbing comments about the political failures of the other side. Who wants that during a lovely Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner? I definitely do not.
Looking at the seemingly broken state of our national discourse, even at the familial level, disagreement must be embraced joyfully and cannot be a barrier to genuine human connection. I love disagreeing with others. Nothing to me is more enjoyable than attempting to dissect an opposing viewpoint in an effort to understand it. However, I have met some who openly proclaim that if you disagree with them on issues like healthcare or taxation, our friendship can only go so far. I am unable to wrap my mind around this way of living. This desire for only agreement in one’s circle of friends or family, I find, is detrimental to our society at large. Disagreement should not evoke visceral reactions, but rather, attempts at understanding. Relationships can be built in the absence of agreement on political issues. Some of my closest friends are people I will never agree with, and I have found that relationships and groups with heterogeneity in political beliefs are the most rewarding. One can only grow when challenged with alternative opinions, and jousting with ideas never gets old. It is a sad day when one closes the door to personal growth and new experiences by creating limiting, arbitrary boundaries for political discourse and association.
This same approach must be taken at dinner tables across the country this holiday season: seek understanding and do not create an additional barrier to human connection. Why purposefully attempt to start a heated conversation during a time of year that is intended to be one of togetherness and family? Why even try to argue points of view? While I attempt to avoid political conversations during nice events and dinners, if one is to dive into politics at gatherings of family and friends, do so with the intention of seeking understanding, not to win an argument. As cliché as it is, have an open mind. Your opinions will probably not be changed, but at least you will have a better understanding of where the other side is coming from. I have been involved in countless political debates, and my mind has rarely been changed. But my empathy for the other side has grown.
This is the only way that the vast divide in our country can begin to be bridged. This holiday season, I challenge everyone to embrace disagreement and not allow it to weigh down their relationships. Remember that evenRuth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia, two polar opposites on the political spectrum, were actually great friends who bonded over their love for opera. This should be the model for society. We should debate ideas and not people. Do not take disagreements personally and recognize that different opinions present an opportunity to learn and to grow as an individual. We will always disagree with others, but how we do so matters. This holiday season, do not allow politics to hinder your celebrations. Embrace disagreement and recognize that different beliefs should not make or break relationships.