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A love letter to what makes me who I am and who I hope to be

January 17, 2024 by The Observer

When the clock strikes midnight on Jan. 1, the tradition of making resolutions becomes the focus of almost everyone I have ever met. This desire for a fresh start and the need for “reinvention” often leads to ambitious declarations of change — shedding old habits, adopting healthier lifestyles and overall pursuing a radical transformation. 

I have never really been one for resolutions. I find that as much as I value making lists and scheduling my Google Calendar, I have a hard time sticking to these immense habits that are supposed to suddenly make my life better than ever before. Whenever I have tried to make the resolutions that are supposed to reinvent me, the cookie crumbles before I even get to February.

Reflecting on my last year, I found that my happiness and growth was not found in my day-to-day life. The joy that I felt came from the people around me and in hobbies that I picked up only when I needed to. Instead of telling you about all of the new things that I am going to add to my life this year, this column is a love letter to so many different parts of 2023 that have helped me live the fulfilling life that I am living today (and how I want to keep it up this year). 

At the foundation of my identity is the unwavering support and love from my family. If you found me walking to class, the odds that I was on the phone with either my mom or dad were incredibly high. Ask me what I did over any break, and I guarantee you I made time to visit Greene County, Pennsylvania, and see my extended family (Hi guys, I’m sure you are reading this, and I love you). I also probably showed you photos of Evee, Ellie and Edee while I was at it. For as long as I can remember, my biggest inspiration has been my brother. I have been able to go through life knowing that at any hour, I could call any member of my family and anything I could ever need would get done for me. My family has shown me how to be independent and strong, but not without understanding the importance of community. My resolution is to always remember the love and support that my family has continuously given me. 

I ended 2023 with a perfect community of friends at my side. As a certified girlie who loves to yap, words cannot express how grateful I am for every single person who entertains my silly Instagram DMs or random messages of whatever I am thinking about at the time. I have found friendship in so many places on campus — Lyons Hall, the basement of South Dining Hall, Riley Hall of Art & Design and boxing practice. I have been so fortunate to spend my time surrounded by each and every one of you (if you are reading this and wondering if I am thinking about you, I guarantee you that I am). Every lunch date, dinner date and random walk around the lake means more to me than I could ever say. I would also like to take a moment to thank Michael, my boyfriend (Hi! I love you!). Thank you for picking up every phone call and helping me talk through pretty much everything. I am unbelievably grateful for your unwavering support in pursuing my passions, reminding me that I am strong enough to face anything. My resolution is to focus on these bonds, creating a space where my friends and I can all celebrate each other’s successes and continue to lift each other up.

Toward the end of last year, I prioritized being creative for no reason other than I wanted to. As an art and design student, so much of my work ends up being for grades. I let myself fall back in love with the idea of making art and music for myself, and it has been one of the most relaxing parts of my day. My ceramic practice has become a metaphor for my approach to living — a slow process that values the journey as much as the destination. The meditative quality of being with the clay centers me, allowing me to see the beauty in imperfection and also be able to line up my pieces and see how far I have come in just a couple of years. Picking up my guitar after years of not playing it has also been a practice that has brought me peace over the last season of my life. I’ve been able to sit down after a long day and strum a few chords, with no need to perform for anyone else but myself. Along with my nighttime guitar sessions, I challenge myself to solve crossword puzzles and other logic games that are in the books I pick up from Walgreens. Solving these puzzles allows me to slow down at the end of the day and focus on learning in a way that isn’t related to my schoolwork. My resolution is to continue my hobbies that are just for me, giving myself a way to wrap up my days. 

As I approached the new year and the idea of making new resolutions, I knew that I wanted to emphasize the parts of my life that I know make me happy. This year, I am no longer chasing the elusive idea of a “new me,” but instead I’m going to focus on seeing my life from a larger perspective and not just the tiny everyday habits that I have never had before. 

Don’t get me wrong, I will still continue to make hot-or-not lists and pick up small habits here and there. However, my goal for the year is to take in every moment of my last semester of college and look forward to my post-graduate life with an open mind. I’ve been loving my life lately, and I know it is going to stay that way. 

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

The post A love letter to what makes me who I am and who I hope to be appeared first on The Observer.

Filed Under: Notre Dame

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