When Zack Dessent lets people know he plays “gay hockey,” the first thing out of their mouths in recent months is a “Heated Rivalry” joke — and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dessent is a board member on Chicago Pride Hockey, a recreational hockey nonprofit for LGBTQ+ players and allies. Not only have a considerable number of people expressed interest in joining the group because of the hit show — they’ve received around 60 inquiries in just the past two weeks.
But Dessent also enjoyed the depiction of gay relationships in a sport he knows firsthand doesn’t always seem to embrace them. The National Hockey League has never had an active player who is openly gay.
“Anytime that you can expand the game out to be more inclusive and to make people feel more included in the community and seen, I think is really important,” the 33-year-old Lakeview resident said. “I think the fact that the show can be that gateway is really cool.”
“Heated Rivalry,” streaming on HBO Max and based on a Rachel Reid novel of the same name, stars Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie as closeted gay professional hockey players, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. It depicts their secret yearslong relationship from steamy hookups to a committed partnership. The show cultivated a rabid fanbase that grew much larger than studio executives initially predicted.
Dessent, who grew up in Niles, started playing hockey as a kid because his older brother was talented at the sport and his parents thought it would be a good idea for him to join while they were at the rink. When he was a kid, though, Dessent said he never had much fun playing.
He was scared that his teammates would find out he was gay and that he would get bullied. This fear caused him to keep to himself and he didn’t make many friends in the sport. He related to the fear the characters expressed in the show of their relationship being discovered.
“The feeling of being different is a very scary thing, especially when you don’t know how people are going to react to it,” he said.
A couple years ago, Dessent was looking for a way to make new friends as an adult, a challenging experience. He didn’t want to play dodgeball or kickball, and thought he’d try out the only sport he in which he had any real experience. But this time he wanted to play with other LGBTQ+ players.
Although he joked it did take him a couple games to build up his stamina after 14 years of not skating.
“Playing as an adult has been the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” Dessent said. “I’ve made so many new best friends … and we all look out for each other.”
Chicago Pride Hockey, formerly called the Chicago Gay Hockey Association, was founded in 2002 with the goal of creating a safe, comfortable environment for gay men to play hockey. People of all genders and identities are accepted and encouraged to join though, Dessent said.
The founder, Chuck Jacobson, told the Tribune in 2004 that he was inspired by a gay hockey league in New York. He was able to find 15 players to start. Most of them were gay men, two were straight and one was a lesbian.
“Hockey is an intimidating sport,” Jacobson said at the time. “But that doesn’t mean a gay team can’t play and win.”
Over the years, the group has collaborated with the Chicago Blackhawks, including for a “Hockey is for Everyone” campaign in 2017. The Hawks wore “pride tape” on their sticks during warmups in support of the LGBTQ+ community. The nonprofit also focuses on charity work, such as a learn to skate program with the Boys and Girls Club.
Annie Davis-Korelc, executive director of the Chicago Blackhawks Foundation, said she’s inspired by the sense of belonging Chicago Pride Hockey brings to the sport. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, meanwhile, told reporters Thursday that “Heated Rivalry” is “very compelling and a lot of fun.” He said he binged all six episodes in “one night.”
“We believe that hockey is for everyone, and this team and others like it create spaces where people can show up and feel welcomed and included in the sport,” Davis-Korelc said. “We’re proud of this partnership and the excitement it adds as more people discover what makes this game so special.”
Now there’s about 100 players on four teams. Those teams play in a few different leagues at different rinks throughout the city and suburbs. Dessent expects the number of players to grow though with the renewed hockey interest — the “more the merrier,” he said.
“We’re just happy that we can be that place where people can come and feel welcomed and supported and like they don’t have to worry about being judged,” he said.
That was what Shelby Domabyl-Deiters said she found when she joined about a year a half ago. The 35-year-old La Grange Park resident and self-titled “suburban hockey mom” is now the secretary and director of community outreach.
She’s always loved hockey, but wasn’t sure if it loved her back — both as a woman and a lesbian. When she’s on the ice the external world falls away. But there’s still a nagging feeling that she may not be accepted while playing or coaching her 6-year-old son’s hockey team.
“There’s always that, what if that parent, or what if the other player in this pickup game says something, or they don’t like my pride tape,” she said. “You can’t fully enjoy the experience without that layer of protection, but with Chicago Pride Hockey it was like instant family.”
The part of “Heated Rivalry” that touched her the most was Ilya struggling to be himself because of his family. She also connected to Shane, the other half of the couple, trying to convince himself he isn’t gay. She said she also had a hard time coming out
She added that when Scott Hunter, a side character on the show who is also a closeted professional hockey player, kissed his boyfriend in front of a huge crowd is the kind of representation that helps push people to accept themselves.
“I just remember trying to keep the secret, I guess, and trying really hard not to be gay,” she said. “Not in a sport or team setting, but with family and friends (thinking) ‘oh no I need to not be this way.’”
For Andrew Sobotka, the show demonstrated what it’s like to leave a piece of yourself at home in order to not be outed. He’s sure there are professional athletes today who are going through a similar experience as Shane and Ilya in the show.
“There are gay hockey players, and they very likely are high-performing athletes,” he said. “It’s kind of the sadness that comes with having to hide part of themselves to be able to play the game that they love.”
Indeed, Williams said in a podcast interview that closeted professional athletes have reached out to him.
Sobotka, 40, of Forest Glen, is the former president of the organization. He was a finalist last year for the NHL’s Willie O’Ree Community Hero Award for his work with Chicago Pride Hockey. A Detroit native, he said he grew up playing hockey but quit when he was a teenager because of the homophobic culture.
Sobotka liked that the show struck an overall positive, celebratory tone. For example, there are numerous characters, including parents and friends, who are very supportive of the characters’ identity, he said. The last two episodes are his favorite and he said he would love to go to “the cottage” — the location where Shane and Illya explore their relationship in private.
“You don’t see too much of the hatred that realistically would be happening,” he said. “We hardly go a season in our teams where someone isn’t called a slur, and you know it’s happening, but I’m appreciative that the show is focusing on more of the queer joy than the homophobia.”
Since the show was released, Domabyl-Deiters said “Heated Rivalry” has become a conversation starter with parents of the kids she coaches. That’s led to more conversations about Chicago Pride Hockey, she said.
The only thing Domabyl-Deiters took issue with in the show was some of the hockey scenes. Players don’t typically practice in full uniforms, she noted.
“I think it humanized a little bit of that experience,” Domabyl-Deiters said. “Not that they weren’t comfortable talking about stuff, but it was like, oh I want to learn more about this. It felt more comfortable talking to me and learning more about me.”