South Siders snooze through opener, unveil Mark’s statue, win the nightcap with walk-off hilarity
Twenty-eight years ago today (as the clock clicks past midnight) I was married, and you better believe my much, much, much better half is standing in the doorway of my office looking at her wristwatch, so let’s get in and out of Friday’s weirdness with nuptial haste.
The opener was an abominable game by the offense, which struck for two hits. At least one of them counted, as Luis Robert Jr. clubbed a two-run shot in the second that served as a clap-back to two back-to-back solo shots from Cleveland in the top half.
Sadly, there was one more home run left in the game, and it came from the wrong side. For a guy who probably shouldn’t be on a major league roster Tyler Alexander worked an admirable 3 ⅓ innings, starting with a fifth-inning summoning that saw him extinguish Steven Kwan for the third out, as Angel Martinez stood, despairingly, at third base.
But in Alexander’s first full frame, trouble got a-brewin’ quick, a Nolan Jones single two outs later yielding to Carlos Santana, all 68 years of him, delivering a whack-a-mole swing to knock hell outta this center-cut offering:
It was Santana’s 28th career home run against the White Sox. Totally feels like double that, right?
The other White Sox hit came in the ninth, as slumping Chase Meidroth (shoulda kept the surfer flow, Chasebro) singled to lead things off but … wait for it … fly out, pop out, ground out.
The nightcap (sorry to all, like our Melissa Sage-Bollenbach and family) saw faithful fans have to shuffle out and back into the park, hopefully in time for the Mark Buehrle statue reveal!
Was this the best moment to come on Friday? Well sure, it would have been no matter what the outcome of the games or the standings rank of the 2025 team. But without telegraphing a surprise ending here, yeah, this might not have been as good as it got, as the White Sox contrasted their opener flatulence with a clinic on the benefits of putting the ball in play in the nightcap.
For a hot minute it sure seemed as if the White Sox would win one outright for huntsman Buehrle, jumping out to a lead in the first (Lenyn Sosa homer) and taking the lead back, 3-2, in the fifth (Lenyn Sosa homer). But Cleveland got right back at it in the sixth, tying the game, and pushing ahead in the seventh — off of wunderkind fireballer Grant Taylor, no less:
Amazingly, the White Sox struck back once more, but only to tie. With Kyle Teel (walk) on third and Colson Montgomery (single) on first, Josh Rojas lifted a deep fly to left with one out that tallied Teel. But nothing more could come of the rally.
Cleveland, no buff offense itself, did nothing to counter and thus we dragged into extras. In the top half, everything everywhere eventually went wrong for reliever Mike Vasil and the White Sox. Things started well, but with two outs the Manfred Man was wild-pitched against the pinch-hitting Santana. Santana drew a walk and stole second (!?!). With ducks on the pond, Vasil packed the sacks with another walk before a sharp grounder to second from Brayan Rocchio ended the threat.
Guards fireman Kolby Allard likewise dodged bullets in the bottom half, as Teel immediately bunted Manfred Man Miguel Vargas to third. After an intentional walk (!?!) to Luis Robert Jr., the dubious strategy paid off in the form of an unassisted 4-3 double-play grounder off of Montgomery’s bat.
Vasil also packed the sacks in the 11th, the details are a bit gory so let’s just skip to the fact that, yes, we headed to the bottom of the frame thanks to a GIDP.
Are you ever going to see back-to-back-to-back ground outs/GIDPs here? Probably not. OK, let’s do it:
OK, so, how about one more grounder clip. Please? I promise it’ll be worth it.
Something-something putting the ball in play? Hey, don’t K and magical things can happen. Case in point, Mike Tauchman up with runners on the corners and just one out, taps weakly to the mound and puts baserunner Montgomery, barrelling home on a contact play, on a suicide mission. But … whoops … Allard forgot to glove the ball.
In the goofiest walk-off of the year, the White Sox won this one in 11, 5-4.
Futility Watch
White Sox 2025 Record: 32-63, tied for the third–worst start in White Sox history and tied for the 83rd-worst start in baseball history. A 32-63 record projects to 55-107 over a full season. A year ago, the record-breaking White Sox were 27-69.
All-Time White Sox Record (1901-2025, 19,301 games) 9,626-9,675 (.4987). It’s been 139 games since the White Sox had an all-time winning record. The White Sox are currently 49 games worse than .500 and falling under by 66 more games will land the team at its lowest point in its 125-year history.
Record Since the New Pope Was Revealed as a White Sox Fan 22-34
Race With the Colorado Rockies for to the Worst Record in 2025 9 ½ games better
- Race to the Worst “Modern” 162-Game Record (2024 White Sox, 41-121)
- Race to the Worst “Modern” Record in a 162-Game Season (1962 Mets, 40-120-1, finished three percentage points worse than the 2024 White Sox)
- Race to the Most White Sox Losses (2024, 121)
- Race to the Worst White Sox Record (2024, 41-121)
14 games better, in all cases